Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

“The whole point of spiritual work is to begin to understand that we are not what we appear to be. As we understand this more and more, we begin to find within ourselves a real and deep connection to the source of all Life.”

—Swami Chetanananda

When I started this blog in April I wrote a little bio about me—you know the one we have in our “profiles”. Yesterday, no wait, I think it was Saturday, I erased it, and replaced it with something more simple. I wrote some clever little diddys, but truthfully, attaching labels to me or anyone, always makes me cringe a bit. Even labels such as “artist”, “teacher”, even one that means something so dearly to me: “yogini”. Once we label something, we put a whole list of expectations and ideas to it…our own personal experiences flaunt or flaw those labels even. But, the one thing I had sitting in that profile paragraph for so long was that I was growing my hair out. Now, ladies, I’m sure you understand, we hold a lot in our hair. Don’t we? There is something to be said about beautiful long hair–especially the kind with those perfect wispy locks. We worry about gray–we debate coloring–we wash, rinse, repeat day after day, or maybe you do other day, or maybe once a week.

Years and years ago I had long, beautiful blond hair. I loved to clip it up in the back and have it fall where it pleased. I liked to braid it on the weekends and it kept my neck warm during the winter. Then, I had a boy break my heart something terribly. I went to one of the most fashionable and trendy salons in Cleveland and told the guy hair stylist that I wanted him to cut it all off…give me the hair of someone that is extreme but light like perfume. Yes, that is exactly what I said. So I went from long, romantic locks, to a pixie cut in less than an hour. I remember that day clearly. It was monumental. It was like I shed an old skin.

Well, no boy has broken my heart. I have no sob story to share. But Tuesday at 6 PM I will be gloriously sitting in a salon here telling the stylist to cut it all off!!! I’ve been trying to grow it out…but its not me. I’m no longer a long hair girl. I don’t know why every time I have short hair, and even super cute cuts, I try to fight it…I try to convince myself that long hair is what I should be sporting. But all I do with my “long” hair (yes–this shoulder length do is considered long to me!!!) is tie it up and wrap it in a headband.

So, I sit here at 1:15 AM, paying homage to my follicles–to the stringy and kinky hair that grows from them–to even the gray that loves to pop up daily and remind me that the body is always changing—no matter how much we try to hide it, deny it, or protect it. I’m so excited to go get it all chopped off!! I’m excited to have short hair again. But furthermore, I’m excited to let myself be who I am, even though it is only hair. I’m excited to finally have a new milestone—one where I stop wanting to be something I once was, and fully embrace the someone physically I am now.