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I Have A Confession To Make….

I have had a total of 16 and a half days off consecutively. They call it “Winter Break“.

I had been counting down for this “Winter Break” ever since Thanksgiving. I’ve also been creating lists since then of things I would do during my “Winter Break“.

Yep, “Winter Break” is almost over. Tomorrow morning I’m back to work…back to school..back to all those things that I forgot about during my “Winter Break“.

I’m not prepared. I have not done any of the school work that I planned to do. I brought home stuff I wanted to get at to create some real kickin’ lessons…but no. I never touched it. Never even glanced at it. I just shoved the box in a corner and felt I’d get to it sooner or later. Well, its later, and now I’ve been procrastinating on the computer. I just posted a recipe on Juice Chica even. I’m feeling that maybe after this post a walk with Nyla, and maybe even one last nap I should squeeze in. Anything…anything then facing the facts. Reading the writing on the wall. Looking at the cold, hard truth.

Tomorrow it’s back to work. AAAAaaagghhH!

So I had this list of things I was going to do during my break. One of them was clean and organize the studio. Even though it may not quite look it—those two shelving units pictured above are finally organized Connie style!!! Yay! You see, we live in a little apartment–and the one room that I spend most of my time in is the studio, which is also where I practice Yoga. During the last few months it got a little out of control with clutter, papers, etc. Now I actually have a clear working table and my supplies are easy to find.


I even went through my brushes and decided to have a funeral for the few that have passed on. They were good brushes…so easy going…I loved them dearly.
I also pulled out my art journal again…and gessoed up a page.

I was planning on creating some Art this Winter Break. I was looking forward to getting the studio back in shape and just letting those creative juices flow, flow, flow. Finally, of the night I finished cleaning the studio I sat down at my work table…and nothing was pumping. I always have some kind of random watercolors or paintings of something sitting around that could use a little loving added to them. So I picked up two watercolors and started painting..thinking I’ll just let what happens happen. That’s what happened—look at the photo above.
Yeah. I agree.
What the _____?
Those babies are going back in the pile with the other orphans waiting for some nurturing. But, I’m just not feeling it. That gessoed journal page has been sitting there collecting dust. I look at my supplies, I take them out, but then I just don’t feel like visiting with them…so I make an excuse to scram.
Well, maybe its not an excuse. My heart and my passion and my curiousity is being pulled else where. This Winter Break I’ve done a lot of Yoga. Lots of it. Every day, about three hours of it straight!! I’ve been taking long walks with Nyla, juicing every single day, and eating only whole foods following a Vegan philosophy. I’ve been thinking alot about vibrations and intentions and things I want to attract into my life. I’ve been reading a few books at once and knitting (but not all at the same time!). I’ve turned my back on Art. Not in a cold-hearted-bitch fashion, but more like a teenager ignoring their parent when they’re out in public. I just don’t want to create anything. Well, I do. But I don’t know what. So I’ve been pretending that it’s not there.
There’s a weird shift going on here with me. A few days ago I felt it very strong and knew I needed to read my cards. Everything in that reading was pointing to change, to trusting my intuition, to having faith.
Faith.
Surrender.
Letting Go.
I just know…this year is going to be about those three.
Peace & Love.
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