Day Six

Today is day six for me. Day six of no sugar.

Yeah, a bit of a long story. But the short version is that I realized…..like truly, really, 100%, with-out-a-doubt realized that I have a MAJOR sugar addiction in my life. It’s a problem. It’s pathetic. It’s embarrassing. It’s not healthy–and all this time, this die-hard vegetarian Yogini has been fooling herself BIG TIME!

So, after a night of tears and shaking…..another long story…. I decided to cut out sugar cold- candy-apple-turkey as an experiment!! An experiment to see if cutting out sugar in my diet can help me on my journey. To see if it can clear a little of the residue of this funk I’ve been in. An experiment to observe how my mind will respond, without those nasty little toxins floating through my bloodstream daily.

Day six, and I already see a huge difference.

At first, I had headaches. HEADACHES!! Yes, a sign of withdrawal….from sugar! To be honest, I was actually proud of the headaches…proud that the toxins were releasing from my body–and that on some deep molecular level–there was a boxing match happening in my brain as the healthy cells we’re kicking these toxins molecular asses!!

Yeah, that’s how I think……years of sugar, I guess!

But the greatest gift so far came on Friday…when my day seemed to crumble, and the world seemed to thunder around me….I didn’t excuse myself to indulge in chocolate or my ultimate favorite chocolate peanut butter ice cream. Sure, I stood in front of the vending machine in the teacher’s lounge—quarters in hand…I drove to the grocery store with all intent to hit the ice cream aisle..but I never dropped those quarters, and I never got out of the car.

As I see it….I won a HUGE battle. I grew in a HUGE leap. I just delivered myself a HUGE wave of love.

That was one of the most empowering moments of my life to tell the truth. Not giving in. Not saying “oh just this one time”. Not letting stress control what I put into my body. Not permitting stress to hurt me any further by dictating MY choices. ME–that healthy, radiant, beam of light I know lives within me. That is shining in all of us–but covered by layers of stress and anxiety and thick with gooey consequences of letting stress dictate what we eat and how we treat our bodies.

I have been saying for years now that I want change. I have had many moments, at which I thought I was starting on a new route–that would yes, lead me into a new direction–and feel like steps toward this big dream I carry in my heart. But my truth is I have only been walking in circles. We are all walking in circles, until we are brave enough to change the one big thing in our life.

Our self.

That is what I am committed to. Changing myself….on a molecular, physical, environmental, and most especially a spiritual level.

For changes to happen on the outside…they have to simply start happening in the inside.

Focus. Discipline. Commitment. Trust. Truth.

Changing my diet, for me, is a journey into changing the energy that constitutes me in this Universe. An energy I have grown comfortable with…that I’ve grown to understand…but not really know at all. Just in these past few days, I already am starting to feel a little clearer, a little lighter in my mind, and I am starting to simply observe how energy focused can become more powerful like a laser beam instead of weak and scattered like a cheap ol’ flash light.

AND….I’m actually feeling happy again.