Published on September 27, 2011
I spent the majority of the weekend in bed and the other majority over the toilet. Sorry to be so blunt. Sparing you the details though, I’ll just say that this morning sickness thang is all consuming.
But I’m not complaining.
It’s actually teaching me gratitude.
And even a whole new level of empathy.
My beloved dear Hansel lives with a chronic illness that leaves him dealing with major pain on a daily basis. And I can’t tell you how many sleepless nights I have had watching him suffer so.
His mother, about 5 years ago, fought brain cancer–and we’re all happy to say–she won. But her treatment, recovery, and healing process took what felt like way over a year. And she still is not quite herself yet. And my heart always broke again and again to witness her suffering.
I have FEARLESS™ Painters who tell me of their illnesses or the health battles they have endured and I can feel their pain.
But it is not until now that I realize how very blessed I am.
That in all my life, this bout with continual morning sickness is the worse it’s gotten for me.
And just this in itself has made my heart expand and grow.
I look at Hansel–and his always happy demeanor and optimistic view on life that I love so much–and I just want to squeeze the goober out of him. How does he do it?
How do so many people do it?
Go on with their lives–laugh–share–keep doing the things they love–
all while feeling like total shit.
I think on my unexpected road now to parenthood, this has been one of my first major lessons.
And if this is any preview to the lessons that are to come–
To the opportunities that wait before me to
learn how to love deeper
to stretch the fabric of my heart even wider–