Published on December 30, 2011
It’s 73 degrees Fahrenheit out and sunny. I got the windows open and my favorite short sleeve shirt on. The one that still sort of fits.
Almost 3:00 in the afternoon and I haven’t showered or done anything with my hair.
Thinking maybe of ordering a pizza with extra cheese for a late lunch.
And…for the very first time…I felt my little boy move and wiggle something fierce inside me. Best part too: Hansel was laying right there with his hand on my big belly when it happened.
Awww, nobody prepared me for this? This…you know…this….this is awesome.
And then this morning a dear friend leaves a message on my Facebook saying she saw this quote from Vincent Van Gogh and thought of me: “I dream my painting and then paint my dream.” I took a deep breath–chuckled a bit and looked up at the wall above. Quickly I shot this photo for her and sent it her way.
But it doesn’t stop there. No there’s more to all this.
I received four heart felt, melt me with sweetness and synchronicity, emails from soul sisters across the world. The kind of emails where you feel like the two of you are sitting across from one another, a cup of chai in hand, and one of you is kicking the table. The kind of emails and words that let you know that you’re friendship is no mere accident.
And nobody prepares us for this? You know..this…this stuff..this awesome stuff.
And up until an hour ago I thought today was Saturday. Would have bet my paintbrushes on it. But found out that it’s Friday…and still a few days left of this blessed year.
I’ve kind of lost track of time. Kind of gave up on schedules and stuff like that. Instead this December I let my body and mind slip into a Soul Hiatus–let my heart wander away from technology and back to harmonizing with the natural rhythm of life.
I let my paintbrush become my fickle lover again.
Then Wednesday was my birthday. (I think it was Wednesday.) Who really knows. And as I sat picking away at my cheesecake the tears were flowing like tsunamis.
Nobody prepares you for this? Nobody lets you know what you should do–how to breathe properly or interact in the world when it happens? Nobody talks about this…this…you know…this…the awesome stuff.
Dinner with Hansel, a movie that felt more like a long oracle, holding hands, and cheesecake showered with tears.
Because this. This is my life.
This amazing simple little existence that I have. That I share.
This is so awe inspiring in just that I’m alive to actually feel it all.
I never am prepared for the joy and happiness that overcomes me when I realize that this….
This is it.
When everyone else is posting long list of accomplishments and things that made 2011 so incredibly Beautiful and wild–
I have nothing to say.
Nothing worth bragging about more…
Then simply this.