Now The Truth Is Told

The truth is I’m really fucking tired.

For the first time in my life, I can truly say I’m exhausted.

Sure, I can blame it on Motherhood.
On being a Caretaker.
The one and only Provider.
Yeah, I own my own business.
Yada yada yada.

Sure I could wait to write this blog post,
till after I forced myself on the Yoga mat,
till I drank green juice for five days straight,
till once I find myself in total alignment again.

But then nothing would get done.  I’d just be tired.

So instead, I’ve decided to embrace the ache in my bones–and to soothe it with salt and water.

I’ve decided to hold this weary heart
less like a lightly broken robin’s egg
and more like volcanic ash.

I’m done with the old stories.  Done with excuses
I’ve been pouring for myself like a glass of whiskey.
Nice and neat.

Instead the only thing I want to bear is light.

So I surrender to the storms
that keep arriving on my blessed shore.
C’mon.  Look at me.
My arms are wide wide open.

Because no matter what…

I control the velocity of my radiance.
I conduct the vibration of my Soul.

I rather lie here bare and naked
Vulnerable before you.

Than keep hiding behind the veil
That everything is alright.

(I don’t think it will ever be alright.)
But that’s no reason for me to stall anymore.