Gonna Burn It All Down
Published on December 18, 2013
Yesterday I talked to three dear friends–and the same conversation surfaced in each chat. And it’s based around this inner conflict I’m dealing with. Where I’m hearing very deeply that it’s time to burn a whole lotta shit down–and be who I am truly am now. So much of my business, my home, my art, my body feels like it reflects an old me. And there’s nothing wrong with the old me stuff–other than it feels like I’m wearing a wool sweater that went through the dryer on high.
It’s uncomfortable. Too small. Ridiculous looking even.
But I can’t run from it–I can’t even push it down and shut if off anymore.
Day after day, I just keep coming back to this feeling that I have to let it all this stuff go. Burn it down. Probably piss a lot of people off. Take some huge freaking risks.
The good thing though, is that after I get over throwing my own inner tantrum, and I begin to softly visualize how life will feel once the bonfire cools down–I can feel already how doing this will create so much more breathing room. Will feel like I’m wearing one of those white flowy dresses with the wind blowing around me on a turquoise colored beach instead of this wool shrunken sweater I’m suffocating in.
And so, here I am. Writing this publicly–so I can confront my fear. So I can look it straight in the eye and say ok. I hear ya, Universe. It’s time I get with it….because if I don’t do it–you’ll probably send in your forces to do it for me.
And I don’t need any more of that shit.