From Outside To Inside

Published on August 2, 2010

Yesterday I took a break.

I spent time walking around the lake where I live, napping on the couch with my doggie, and in the company of good friends–such as this awesome woman HERE—who is even offering an even more awesome class HERE (be sure to check it out!!!). In the evening I made a delicious, nutritious dinner, and relaxed with a good book. I didn’t make one tweet–and I didn’t bother updating the world on Facebook either. I thought about lifting up the paintbrush and opening the Art Journal….but I let them have the day off as well.

Life is good. Real good.

July has been an incredible month, and honestly, I can’t believe it’s August already!

I want to say thank you to all 30 amazing Artists that participated in the 30 JOURNALS 30 DAYS project!! It was so much fun to connect with each of you–and to share in your own Art Journal LOVE. I’m just overflowing with inspiration and ideas for Art Journaling!!

I also want to thank everyone that shared their Art Journal LOVE story on July 31st!! I’m still trying to make it to all the interviews–and this was such a great way to celebrate–thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!

But it’s August, can you believe it?!?

And the truth is, I’m feeling a little sad. As many of you know, I quit my job to pursue my dreams full time this past July 6th. If I was going back to work teaching, I would actually be starting up again this Wednesday. All last week I was feeling depressed, and not quite sure why. And then it hit me—I never took the time to mourn the life I am leaving behind.

Even though I am truly in the midst of living my dream, and life feels creative juicy and right….I still need to take time and honor….mourn…make amends with the life I once lived. I’m leaving friends behind, I can feel it already. I’m leaving a certain security—a certain identity even. I’m leaving my kiddos, and maybe that’s what hurts the most. I already miss them.

But I think this is part of the journey. I think in some way, fashion, or form there are going to be more moments like this in my life–where I stand at a crossroad and realize that I need to make some tough decisions. That I need to take risks. That I need to say good bye.

Quitting my job was not an easy decision–even though, I knew full-heartedly it was what I had to do. Not for economic reasons, professional reasons, or even creative reasons….but something even deeper.

My spirit. My soul.

I needed to step outside my comfort zone completely, so I can step inside the life I am meant to live authentically.