Sorry, But I’m Not Going To Tell You
Published on August 30, 2011
I was all planning on telling you about my big epiphany I had this weekend, but now I’ve decided to wait a little longer.
Though what I will tell you is that for quite a while now–I’ve been feeling the itch of change scratching at my soul. I’ve been hearing little whispers–picking up subtle clues–embracing tiny oracles of truth that keep trickling my way.
And well it all hit me this weekend in one big swoosh!
So off I went–strapping myself to my mind as it began to plot, plan, strategize, rationalize, and dream big bigger BIGGEST EVER immediately like a jet rocket off into space!
And that’s alright. That’s cool. That’s actually a part of myself I do awesome–coming up with ideas, plans, plotting out strategies, and rationalizing anything into manifesting into my existence. And dreaming big, well, I’m a pro at that as well.
And like I said–there’s nothing wrong with all of the above.
Except, well, there is a little something wrong. (For me at least.)
And that is, it interferes with what I’m really about.
What my deepest intention for my life is.
What my devotion truly is centered around.
And that’s staying in alignment with Creative Source.
Listening deeply to my innate wisdom.
Living a life of honest truth.
And when my mind is rocket blasting across a million new terrains and back, I lose touch with my deepest facets of wisdom–in exchange for the high that comes with joy riding my mind’s circus parade of a million and one possibilities.
Sure, I’d like to think that life is about a million and one possibilities–that abundance is about an incredible amount of opportunities, resources, and beautiful scenarios sitting at your doorstep just waiting for you to say “yes”. But when I listen closely—I know it’s not true.
I know that I am here for a purpose. For a reason.
And that purpose and reason is not up to the planning, plotting, strategizing of my mind.
But rather the direct following of my heart.
And I can’t speak for anyone but myself, when I say that my heart has a quieter way of communicating. A more softer, slower pace of explaining. A simple, calmer way of directing me.
And sometimes, I’ll admit—I jump full force aboard the momentum of my mind–leaving the soft call of my heart so far, far behind spitting dust.
But something always happens.
Something always knocks my jet pack off and sends me circling to the floor.
Something always feels like it’s getting in the way–being a disturbance–testing if “I really want it or not”.
But now I know. That’s really not the case.
It’s just the Universe letting me know I’ve gotten out of alignment. I’m desperately needing to retract back into that sweet space–that softer knowing–that infinite truth.