Somewhere Else

Here’s my studio.

What you don’t see is the rest of our home.

The rest of our home is really opening up and letting go.  In the last couple weeks I’ve totally moved things around, got rid of tons of stuff.

I even washed the walls.

And now, I feel ready to attack the studio with love, intention, and a sincere desire to create a new space for a renewed creative energy.

So, do you notice that there’s piles all over the place?

As I’ve been doing this deep cleanse on my studio, I actually feel like an archaeologist on a dig of my creative life.  The artifacts I’ve been uncovering have been very interesting, and those piles are becoming documentation of the different eras my creative life have evolved through.

Much of the stuff that I am excavating comes from my years of teaching art the more traditional way–in school and at the museum.

There are boxes and boxes worth of hand-outs, lesson plans, and examples.

I know I have to let these things go, because they are only taking up space.  And honestly, an art teacher in a school could really put all this stuff to excellent use.  I could pass this on and a group of students could really benefit.

But when I go through it, a part of me feels sad.  A part of me misses those kiddos I used to splash paint with and sit outside at the playground sketching with.  A part of me thinks “oh just keep it, you can use it with Phoenix one day”.

Though I know it’s time to move on.  To honor the past by making my present a bit lighter so I can express myself a bit clearer.

Excavating my past has taught me how important it is to allow myself to nestle into the present.

So much of my time spent teaching the traditional way was overshadowed by my desire to “break free” and “get somewhere else”.

Now here I sit in that “somewhere else” and my memories feel a bit hazy.  If only I could see then that everything was perfect.  That my creative life was evolving and moving and flowing forward steadily.

That my “somewhere else” is much like my “used to be”.

That who I really am…
always stays the say.