Opening Up

Last year as I navigated the hardest year of my life, music was my savior.

Every night before going to bed, no matter how weary I felt, I sat my ass down and chanted some of that heaviness away.

If I didn’t wake up early enough in the morning to do the same, I’d flood our home with healing music from my iTunes just to get my Spirit ready for another day.

And if I was falling (which I felt like I was a lot) I’d lay there on the living room floor and let music do its best to lift me back up.

Have you ever been in so much pain that you’ve lived your life inside a cave?  Have you been to places so dark that it’s impossible to see the light?

That’s where I was for quite a long while.  But in these last six months things have finally been opening up.

Just this past week I noticed that I’m playing music from a very different place.  No longer do I chant and sing just to scrub the pain away.

Instead music feels like a way of calling the sweetness of Life back into my heart–a way of celebrating another beautiful day.

And I share this, because at times, it feels hard for me to believe.

Yes, last year might have been a doozey–but this pain and I have been tangled up for almost a life time.

I’d gotten so used to carrying it around that it never occurred to me that it wasn’t necessary to keep holding onto.  Kind of like an old hand-me-down jacket, worn and useless, stuffed in the back of the closet.

And so I come here today, sharing photos of what it looks like for me to squeeze in some sweet music time as a full time Mama, Wife, Artist, business owner–whatever fits your fancy!

But most of all, I come here ready to finally open up.

To start telling my story from this place that has healed so much, but is still in need of some healing grace.  I come here to say goodbye to a past that is thinning out and dissolving away.

I come here renewing my creativity and remembering what it means to dream again.

In other words…I come here opening up,
opening up,
opening up.