Published on July 19, 2011
|FEARLESS™ Painting: Vulnerability (18″ x 24″)|
If you hadn’t noticed, I took a little hiatus from painting in the last couple months. Reason….this Yoga Teacher Training journey I am on is all encompassing. Sure, I’ve been practicing the physical postures of Yoga more than ever in my life before–and have been assigned tons of reading and homework up the kazoo. But really, there is something else happening that’s been unexpected and at times, even unnerving.
I like to say that I’m going to the Harvard of all Yoga Teacher Training programs. It’s pretty intense–and we study things that I’m positive very few other Yoga Teachers have had the opportunity to do with a highly experienced, skilled, and devoted teacher. For instance, we read EVERY SINGLE Yoga Sutra out loud–and discussed it’s meaning in class. (Yes–this took weeks and weeks). Since finishing, we’ve been now reading every sloka in the Bhagavad Gita out loud and discussing it’s meaning. Every single word. (And yes, this too has been taking weeks.)
My teacher is adamant that we understand the science of Yoga and not just adopt some kind of feel good jargon. He is ruthless about helping us see how Yoga applies to our everyday lives on a real, practical basis. He teaches us to question everything–especially a lot of the spiritual woo-woo-hee-haw that is associated with popular Yoga. And that’s why I feel it’s like being in the Harvard of Yoga Teacher Training programs. Everything is broken down, examined, and experimented with in our own experience. Everything.
Including my own belief systems about myself, the world, and what I know as true.
And now, after going through six months of this experience (with another five months a head of me to go) I’ve been feeling pretty raw, wide open, and at times whacked out. And more so the past few weeks.
So this weekend, in the midst of feeling vulnerable….I picked up the brush again and decided to paint FEARLESS™ and explore the intentions of protecting myself and making myself vulnerable.
Now, my FEARLESS™ Painters will know best….the painting is NEVER about the painting–all the juice is centered in the process. And part of me debated even posting the paintings here–because they do absolutely no justice to the insight I gained through painting them. They look lifeless and flat compared to the power that they transfered into me and released from me as well.
But more than anything, I know what healing can arise for others when one chooses to share openly. And so this is what I do today.
I present to you my insides on a platter.