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I Couldn’t Fall Asleep Last Night

588b4-tonight

I tossed. I turned.  I sat up and laid back down.

I went to the bathroom.  I brushed my teeth.

Then I brushed them again.

I pulled the covers over my head.

I picked up my phone

and looked at random shit on the internet.

 

When I finally said enough is enough.

The moon had migrated in front of my window.

Her light was seeping through the cracks in the blinds

And I’m positive she was singing me a lullaby.

 

So that moment, right before snooze town,

I prayed for a sign.

That my Spirit would align

And speak to me through dreaming.

That my subconscious would be clever enough

To disguise itself as imagery.

That something would come to me–

Please, oh please

Deliver me clarity.

 

When I woke up this morning

(Right after going into the bathroom to pee)

It came to me that I dreamed of Andrea Gibson.

 

I couldn’t remember what. Or why. Or how.

It had something to do with a grocery store bag

Or a thrift store alarm clock.  Or a pair of purple lingerie on the side of the road.

I don’t remember.  It’s all so fuzzy.

 

So I thought I’d look her up online and the first thing I came to was

her Facebook event page.

Andrea would be in Phoenix tonight at 8pm.

And damn it, her show was sold out.

 

From there I went to her website.

That took me to her blog.

That brought me to this video

About a fat girl loved by a boy in skinny jeans.

 

 

And yes, I loved it. This video was great.

But her words wasn’t it.

 

There’s something’s embed in this Andrea Gibson dream.

There’s something that I know I need to see.

So I scrolled down a little more and pushed play again.

 

 

Am I safe enough to say

I cried?

 

To tell you that this was

What I needed to hear.

 

The clue from my dream

lead me correctly-

took me to the message-

delivered me clarity.

 

That’s the thing about the Universe

And when we call on the ol’ Divine Feminine…

She wants us to be patient

To follow her lead

Instead of connecting the dots.

Or thinking everything is always what it seems.

 

Like restless nights.

Minds that don’t stop racing.

Broken hearts that desperately need mending.

You tube videos.

Spoken word poets.

 

And the fact that I can’t stop listening.

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