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How I Deal With Big

Grow4

I started this FEARLESS® Painting back in February.

Since then I’ve been weaving a few projects together — like finalizing my upcoming workshop MOODY (coming out in 21 SECRETS Tools & Techniques), preparing for POETIC in West Palm Beach, and I’ve even been working on my third annual Painting The Feminine coming out this May.

So slowly and steadily this painting has been evolving.

Grows1

To be honest with you, she’s evolved worlds already from the photos you see here.

But I feel, at least for myself, that it’s important I document the process.

So better late then never I say!

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And if I’m going to be real honest with you I must share that this painting has been a bit of a pain in the ass.

I really didn’t want to add those extra pieces of paper on the sides.  I had a lot of resistance towards going much larger. Mostly because I was being lazy — and didn’t want to go through all the effort of having to take the painting down and then reattach it to the wall again.  When the substrate gets this big it becomes bulky and more difficult to hang (is what I like to tell myself).

But I kept hearing very clearly that she wanted wings. She needed wings.  She demanded wings.

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So before I got all crazy and started attaching more paper, Hansel, Phoenix and I decided to go hiking at Badger Springs Wash in Mayer, Arizona.

On the drive there I pulled out my sketchbook and oil pastels and drew a pretty pair of wings, thinking maybe this would get the wing thing out of my system and I could return home happily to a painting that was satisfied being wingless.

wings

But oh no.  When I got back into the studio she still wanted wings.

And so with the help of my little guy Phoenix, I took down the painting, laid it on the studio floor, and proceeded to expand the reach.

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It’s kind of embarrassing to share this so openly with you — but at the same time it’s quite insightful for me to do so as well.

The thing that strikes me like lightening is how burdensome I felt it was to go bigger.  How I had a million different excuses why not to — and I even tried to skirt around the issue by creating a smaller sketch and trying to call it a day.

But the painting — my intuition — refused to settle for less.

And you know what’s the real crazy thing?  When starting this painting, my intention was to explore what it means for me to step into my bigness.

And so there you have it.

 

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